Thursday after Wednesday

The bitter taste of emptiness,
that's what it is.
I feel it in my mouth, exuding,
when existence tip out
of its slothful balance.
The sigh of books on shelves,
the words oppressing me,
thoughts moving around, rain.
Raindrops on berm,
flowing on my window,
fall into the pit - brain clacking.
Awaking from a nightmare again,
with spiders under bed, everywhere.

I'm waiting for tomorrow,
maybe there'll be sunshine;
fear is getting-out,
crawling up the walls, up on houses.
Night came upon me.
One. Two is an exception.
The three of us,
traveling at the same table,
one falls,
walls resonating,
mices laughing around,
crawling, blind mices,
fluctuating tunes,
the walls of my room,
books came upon me again,
Nietzsche and friends,
I didn't knew him
when I was seventeen,
the theme was different.

Silence salutes me,
apostrophizing,
enchant me when I stay silent,
I see nothingness before me,
the meaning of nothingness:
the emptiness.
The sun is rising again,
everything starts again.

Curtains up, put your smile on.
Look at me and keep smiling,
with white-hot glittering teeth,
bone beneath,
soul beneath,
void beneath.

Sitting on my bed,
reflecting again,
the picture is splitting up,
small peaces, its puzzle I think...
I cannot see the details,
I fall apart... like Kierkegaard…
but don't sweep me up,
I'm all right,
I'm quicksilver,
lustering,
dilateting in thermometer,
showing temperature,
in celsius?
Or overseas? Fahrenheit,
the old fool,
heart beating,
salt melting.

Let me reinvent myself:
new face, new soul,
my appetite wings the air,
don't trust me,
I cannot see the future,
forgot the past as well,
don't ask, coz if I'll answer
you wouldn't understand,
no roundness, no fulness,
but the picture is getting shape,
colors are coming,
Picasso help me!
No, he can't, he's dead, no problem,
I'll manage, I'll contrive, I'll forge,
globalizing locally,
combining colors,
jump in depths,
swirling matter,
two colors are enough?
That's arty they said:
the critics, the laymen, the stoics
with glassy faces,
emotion doesn't affect them,
the drama is evolving.

Enough of today.
Curtains down!

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