22 July 2003
18:48 p.m.
found this site on the net today: gnod.net
it's a kind of experimental 'AI' trying to suggest,
based on your taste or momentary favourite,
what would be the best web, music, book of movie
(related to the original input)
i know there are similar things on each web-shop,
but i've tried it with a favourite movie, and it gave me a
result way above my expectation, (better than amazon.com or imdb.com for ex).
10:31 a.m.
lizard feeling
[...]
`Boy,' the Flatline would tell him, months later in Miami,
`I'm like them huge fuckin' lizards, you know? Had themself
two goddam brains, one in the head an' one by the tailbone,
kept the hind legs movin'. Hit that black stuff and ol' tailbrain
jus' kept right on keepin' on.
[...]
the neuromancer / william gibson
let's say i would agree with the sturgeons law...but just for tonight
21 July 2003
FuckedUpAndWasted
in addition to the sick world series: fantasy coffins
...and the best banner for the dailyshit.org would be a BIG McDonald's commercial.
long live the globalization!
18 July 2003
facing the first difficulties of driving.
first day in the city. it's not easy, not at all.
i've got myself into small pieces,
and it was hellish tricky to assemble them back.
17 July 2003
sick world <=> sick thoughts
[over-sensitive readers should skip this entry]
...i got this weird ideea of making a site like dailyshit.org or something,
with additional submit button and upload possibility of the 'daily shot of your shit'
picture, and i would bet with anyone, proving how sick this world is, that in a few days,
after starting the usual spam campaign, the site would have more hits then any usual fun
or news site. kinky! isn't it?
15 July 2003
the first "real" car driving lesson has been sated above my expectation.
the instructor is a bit tiresome and has a bad habit: he curses too much,
and as a typical hungarian, in his late middle age, he's constantly complaining.
that's it bro', your life's fucked, but don't tell me
i don't care
14 July 2003
80 pictures were brought from the 4000 made during the south american trip.
here's the key sentence:
the whole thing is just a matter of determination
and here's what can be found on the net:
part I
part II
this weekend brought other experiences and weird things...
12 July 2003
here's the car (on a wish-list unfort.)
i would probably die next moment, pushing the accelerator
[Firebird] was the word
Rolled out quietly in mid-'67, the Firebird turned heads and got people talking big time.
Built on GM's F-body platform with an instantly likeable interpretation of the Pontiac
nose and hot twin-scoop hood, models like this brawny Firebird 400 changed the game.
pontiac.com
11 July 2003
[propaganda]
Let's say it another way. A URL is not a mark of quality. It's not proof
of honesty or approval from the FDA. Sure, people say they know this
already, that a lot of the internet isn't true and a lot of it isn't
interesting, no matter how angst-ridden and attention-seeking its
author. But still we praise the internet for everything, from
mobilising global protests to creating the latest trends, while
disappearing up its backside and discarding anything outside it as 'out
of touch'.
internetisshit.org
10 July 2003
100% success on the driving exam. made it with 0 penalties.
2 more, ~2 months and i'll have the licence; hope so.
and today's a free day.
the hip-hop shit blows at 40 from the hi-fi. reassuringly sleazy...
waiting for the night to come.
Phone-Booth - the movie of yesterday.
crazy! crazy! crazy! reminds me of G.Orwell 1984 in a strange way.
paranoic! do not miss it!
08 July 2003
4) run over the deer, take it home and make a good steak :P
by the way, i heard that in mexico, or some latin american country, the one who
runs over a game could not take it, but anyone else, who comes after, may take it.
strange fuckin' thinks...
07 July 2003
still busy with the traffic regulations...
what's the correct behaviour if: while driving on the highway, a game (for ex. a deer)
suddenly apperas in front of you?
1) push the breaks, switch to normal lights and blow the horn.
2) go forward and blow the horn.
3) switch off all the lights and blow the horn.
;)))))
my south american friend just invite me to his welcome party on saturday.
shit! can't wait till saturday!
03 July 2003
my head is full of stupid traffic regulations.
maybe i'm too stupid for this whole shit...
i regulary fuck up the tests with 18 penalties.
10 is allowed,
we'll see on thursday.
i'm tired... need some rest...
01 July 2003
I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE, AND I BRING YOU... FIRE!
28 June 2003
start the driver's school this week. hope i'll get the licence in two months,
so i can buy and drive my own dusty crock, go out in the night, drive to the
gliders paradise, spend some time there - look down to the city of lights.
grotesque scene before a crowded pleasure-groung (2 a.m.):
a 38 looking wizened woman with his 30 like boyfriend - before the entrance...
woman, markedly worried: my daughter usually comes here.
25 June 2003
in a town with ~2 million inhabitants, what are the chances to read
someone's blog for a while, see her (for the first time!) on a TV show
about blogging, and on the same day, go out to a downtown pub,
take a beer, and in a few minutes that someone comes, and sit next table to you,
without knowing anything about this whole crackpot.
funny, insn't it?
24 June 2003
growing arrogance, hurtful sentences.
... peel off of me, as easy as they were written.
carma manages.
20 June 2003
the era of painfull layoff's.
fortunatly (or not) i'm not affected (yet).
yesterday's movie, Crash, a disturbing piece of art, which shake us up from
the day-to-day shallowness and sleepy afternoons.
after one and a half hour, we were left in a depressing and disturbing atmosphere,
slightly deppressed thinking about the strange ending and the reason of making such a film.
not recomended for those who are looking for an easy-time relaxation or romantic rendezvous.
19 June 2003
the best things in this warm summer nights, what i enjoy the most, long drinking hours
in some music club or open-air party, red wine and j.'s, french vanilla..., and the best,
when you got home somehow, drunk and tired, don't have to worry about the blanket when
you fall into your bed, just lay down, naked, tired, dark room, and sleep till you can...
15 June 2003
garden party, grill, green ...and extreme experiences.
also wild dreams near the theme-park - very realistic.
11 June 2003
WB
small-talk between city skeletons and mosquitos;
roaming through tables and chairs, towards the bar;
heard different interpretations, on the old fashioned bakelite,
polished to conform with the new sound of modern days;
the music-maker (uk) dj guy, just made it perfect.
went out [...] on a trip to fool's paradise...
please, please, please,
turn the lights off.
10 June 2003
got a friend who's on a south-american trip since three months.
today he sent the first part of the pictures he made in Panama, Bolivia and Peru.
i would lie if i'd say i don't envy him, but i know i'll do the same thing soon.
...but for the next few months i'm going to stay in a small cold room, between
wires, computers, and stupid firewalls...
09 June 2003
long weekend on the country-side, at Balaton lake.
easy time relaxation on the hammock,
long drinking hours near the beach,
enjoying the strong effects of absint and other stuff
without the slightest sense of guilt.
07 June 2003
since a few weeks, i have the Salo o le 120 giornate di Sodoma and lot's of other movies
shared on my computer. looking at the download stats., i can see that the most wanted
movie is Salo. from 10 people, 9 has downloaded the Pasolini movie. anyone who saw this movie,
or heard about it, knows what i'm talking about.
05 June 2003
Donnie Darko - got a very high rating score on imdb. Both, directing and writing credits
go to Richard Kelly (II). As a relatively young film director (with a few movies behind)
he makes it a great one, and the story is great too. Don't miss it if you like ambiguous
mistery stories! (affix)
03 June 2003
the news came suddenly, simple, without special explanation.
the loss of one of my close friend,
reminded me how cruel life can be and how suddenly it may end...
end at any time.
the drainpipe wear holes and the tooth broke down too.
just sad bad news.
to the memory of Andrea
...
Do you know how pale and wanton thrillful comes death
on a strange hour unannounced, unplanned for
like a scaring over-friendly guest you've brought to bed
Death makes angels of us all and gives us wings
where we had shoulders smooth as raven's claws
No more money, no more fancy dress
This other Kingdom seems by far the best
until its other jaw reveals incest
and loose obedience to a vegetable law
I will not go
Prefer a Feast of Friends
To the Giant Family
The Doors / An American Prayer
01 June 2003
01:50 p.m.
The Hole - it proves perfectly that there are
other ways to tell a love story...
interesting and disturbing at the same time.
02:15 p.m.
about floyd
at that time i loved them because of their music,
but their music was so powerfull and expressive,
it was understandable without the wisdom
of their poetry, without understanding the words.
few can express such things through music.
and today, when i'm able to understand their poetry as well,
it became much more powerfull and expressive,
and hit me twice as much as at that time.
and it brings up the memories perfectly,
and the feelings are quite the same as i felt at that time.
it's great! it's unbelievable.
31 May 2003
the narrow way...
sleepy walk through the dark forrest,
birds and caves,
my brows streaming with perspiration, deep sigh,
...
Mist is swelling, creatures crawling,
Hear the roar get louder in your ears
You know the folly was your own
But the force behind can't conquer all your fears
And if you want to stay for a little bit
Rest your aching limbs for a little bit
Before you the night is beckoning
And you know you can't delay
You hear the night birds calling you
But you can't touch the restless sky
Close your aching eyes beyond your name
Throw your thoughts back many years
To the time when there was life in every morning
Perhaps a day will come
When the nights will be as on that morning
...
Pink Floyd / The Narrow Way - Part 3
29 May 2003
some hours earlier [~01 a.m.]
the place was crowded and full of the well-known femme fatale stereotypes,
strictly shaped for todays fashion and summertime night, with diaphanous white
trousers and black g-string, dancing, sitting and waiting for the light flirt to come,
to overpass the tension of the first moments...
and the typical casanova-guy comes, roaming through the crowd,
holding his icy caribbean mojito, looking for the right company...
just like me.
the gliders paradise [02:48 a.m.]
the view of the city was amazing in the small hours, and reminded me of Lynch's
Hollywood (after the terrible car-crash, when the protagonist walked near the
edge of the gazebo, and looked down to the city).
in fact, the whole perspective was far beyond expression. the shapes moved so
strange and the panorama was so amazing, we were absolutely stunned.
i had no camera with me, but anyway, i don't think that a static picture could
preserve anything of the fascinating sight view.
28 May 2003
maybe i'm wrong, but it seems that most of the people around me are ass-lickers.
here's the point:
when someone of us sneezes, no-one sais: bless you.
but when the PM sneezes, most of the guys will bless him ;-)
i don't hate anyone because of this, but that qualifies them somehow
and let's say, it's a reasonable suspicion for my assumption.
27 May 2003
mr. "professional perfection" was unable to understand other people
vocational obsession. stupid! stupid! stupid!
26 May 2003
3:55 p.m.
while listening the echoes, in this hot afternoon, i recall the time
when we went to a private spelunking trip in the carpathian mountains.
it was very special, because beside the usual stuff, we took a small
hi-fi equipment and some candles.
after reaching the bigest cavern of the cave, we'd install the audio stuff
and light some candles in the outermost corners of the cavern.
imagine the three of us, sitting in the twilight of the ~30m high ~40m wide cavern,
illuminated by three flickering candles, listening the greatest psychedelic album ever made.
it was my last (real) spelunking trip...
and one of the biggest experience of my life!
no fancy restaurants, no expensive cocktails, no seashore,
no palm-trees, no sunshine... just a dirty, muddied dark cave and psychedelic music.
11:30 a.m.
find out some new survival-strategy.
patterns developed, just need to be applied...
applied in the real life.
anyway, i've decided to quit for a while at the beginning of '04.
sail dead south...
The selfish they're all standing in line...
Faith in their hope and to buy themselves time.
Me, I figure as each breath goes by,
I only own my mind.
The north is to south what the clock is to time.
There's east and there's west and there everywhere life.
I know that I was born and I know that I'll die.
The in between is mine. I am mine.
...
Pearl Jam - I Am Mine
22 May 2003
4.55 p.m.
about IT
as we all know/or not - about a certain period of time spent in the IT business - that
the whole thing is not about what it should be, at least from the (poor) engineer's point of view.
i would like to illustrate it with a true story which is developing for more than 2 years and
it seems that will end just about 2007 (a project planned for 2 max. 3 years!).
i will not mention the company we had work for, but i will mention the famous accenture IT company.
usually they do consulting, IT consulting (the word itself gives me cold shivers).
how the whole business looks like:
there is this company who want a product.
there are several companies who think they can deliver it, in a certain period of time,
for a certain amount of money.
and the procurer company will choose.
and at that point the whole thing will lose professionalism!
let's mention just the usual stuff: acquaintance, ascendancy and other political shit.
if we look at the material part, the accenture is the best. they will get the biggest
amount of money, selling their well dressed, perfectly shaved consultants and project managers
who will know how to extend the project close to a neverending story. they will spend most of
their time in meeting rooms, talking shit and initiating useless tasks which will hold the
project developement from forward progress.
who cares about the developer who spend his time on useless tasks?
who cares about the fact that the procurer company will spend his money in vain?
who cares about the project progress? when everything is about politics and acquaintance!?
NOBODY!
that's one of the big reasons for the big precentage of the IT projects which goes into failure.
that's one of the big reasons i lost my real interest in IT.
3.55 p.m.
how good the idleness is...in these kind of breezy days,
when i browse what i want, download movies, listen music,
and meanwhile, i'm thinking about the fact that at home,
3 furled pieces of cigaretes are waiting for me...
i'll have a dump load right now...
20 May 2003
5:45 p.m.
moral of the day:
people and attitudes causes accidents
1:57 p.m.
well, maybe i got a big-big black spot for my personal behaviour.
and you know how i feel? it's really funny...like The Big Lebowski said: "well, fuck it"...
i don't tell the business people who hired me how to run their business,
so why should they tell me how to live my life?
19 May 2003
11:59 a.m.
sunday morning relaxation accompanied by the A Clockwork Orange.
Brilliant!
9:55 a.m.
tricky sneak-thiefs, placing their traps on the screen,
waiting for the prey... to fall into their web.
vanity...
illusion...
17 May 2003
who would believe that a slice of juicy red watermelon could charm a smile on a girls face?
coz' i think it's because of the red watermelon...
15 May 2003
10:40 a.m.
He who makes a beast of himself
gets rid of the pain of being a man
DR. JOHNSON
00:15 a.m.
about travelling
i'm not the type of traveller who carefully plans his trip. i don't spend hours
on study upon destination, i'm not drawing timescheduled itinerary. i'm spontaneous.
travelling gives the best oportunity to be openminded. it's an aces experience
to get part of a culture i don't know or don't understand. i always try to
observe things useing imagination, and even if i misunderstand the whole situation,
it becomes elemental part of my experience. that's important.
it's like reading a book. the real essence is not just the book itself, not just the story,
but the feelings i gone through, the thoughts arise on me, and the way i feel reading it.
it's more important.
14 May 2003
at the moment, i can't imagine the time when i'll be unable to keep up with the
technological innovations and the outcoming hightech gadgets.
is that the time waiting for us?
when the whole materia becomes so abstract, as today this whole technologic information
and media driven world we're living in, became a long time ago to our forbears...
13 May 2003
17:47 a.m.
it's at least 2 months since i don't watch the news on T.V....
don't watch T.V. eighter
11:30 a.m.
home again
i've travelled all the way down to work with my opened flies :)
i've noticed that in the office closet.
(the fact that my t-shirt covers my trousers somehow is really reassuring)
traffic(jam), smog and warmth.
although it's the fourth day, i feel strange, like an outsider.
still don't understand why the people here decided to get rid of greenbelts?
why dogs are still pissing on the wall?
and the old ticket clerk lady talking so quiet
i can't hear a sound (finally i got my 30 days season ticket).
and again, they want to send me back...unacceptable!
08:56 a.m.
about chatting
after a few phrases, the usual questions will come - the irresistible servants of cognition.
i don't like that... questions like "who's your favourite artist?" or "what do you hate the most?"
i'm not really self-analytical, i don't know what my favourite color is, what my favourite
food is, and i don't know many other things about myself. those things usually depend
on the context. i'm probably the context-sensitive person. of course there are things
i'm really sure about, but since all human beeings are exposed to imperative self-mutation,
we should admit the fact that we're not the same pesrons we were years ago.
of course there are certain things which will mark us forever, but the usual questions will
never characterize us - maybe as a first impression, at that certain slice of time.
sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.
12 May 2003
messages from cerebrospinal...
~BOF~
Mr.M - everithing OK?
Mr.I - yes... what's up to you?
Mr.M - not the best time... my paranoiac feelings again...
digital rose-Mary still welcomes me on my desktop... did you heard the news?
Mr.I - what news?
Mr.M - they've created new rules to manipulate the subconscious! that causes my
recrudescent paranoid psychosis. it's terrible! this whole commercialized world...
Mr.I - it's pointless. the expressions of the subconscious are NOT governed by rules.
~EOF~
9 May 2003
obesrvations upon Hamburg/Germany
i'm sure there is a "smiley gang" in the city.
they're painting smiley faces on the back of traffic signs and stuff :-)
orderly people, typical german behaviour, amusingly chastely.
the gardens and the greenbelts are remarkable!
the town of bridges, where you can easily become part of a demonstration.
harbour, reeperbahn and blankenese: some of the highlits.
usually, swimming pools have a complex sauna infrastructure,
which helps you to get to a higher level of relaxation. it's a true ritual to
be part of a sauna-session. after that, you can try the alternate showers,
or wash yourself with mush-ice, then you can lay on a confortable deckchair
before an intimate fireplace. it's amazing.
(it's conventional to stay completly naked in the sauna)
8 May 2003
4:59 p.m.
there's in a habit of some people, that lots of times, when i talk to them - because
i cannot avoid that - they hear just things they want to hear, and NOT the real meaning
of the things i'm saying. that's not because i'm telling some vague poetry,
i'm not even a philosopher nor a fuckin' genius and i'm not an autist.
i don't have social and language skills disturbances!
i feel anger, when time passes, and those people relpy to me with something on which
I CLEARLY EXPRESS MY DISPLEASURE!
so here's my clear message to them:
you guys should check your qualitative impairments in communication, and be sure
you are able to sustain a conversation with me!
and if you think you cannot do that, then simply FUCK OFF!
thank's for understanding.
8:30 a.m.
have you ever tried a Color Vision Deficiency Test?
you shouldn't miss that one:
C.V.D. Test
(and use a headphone!)
7 May 2003
sunset
tonight's sunset - clouds and vapour trails drew fascinating colors.
sun blew out in a slow movement.
emerging silhouettes passing by.
day turned twilight then darkness... darkness stole into our world,
...took the picture away.
almost romantic, soft and quiet.
6 May 2003
16:27 p.m.
[...]
- I just wanted to come here.
- To Winkie's?
- This Winkie's.
- Okay. Why this Winkie's?
- It's kind of embarrassing but,
- Go ahead.
- I had a dream about this place.
- Oh boy.
- You see what I mean...
- Okay, so you had a dream about this place. Tell me.
- Well ... it's the second one I've had, but they were both the same......
they start out that I'm in here but...it's not day or night.
It's kinda half night, you know... but it looks just like this except for the light,
but I'm scared like I can't tell you.
- Of all people you're standing right over there... by that counter.
You're in both dreams and you're scared.
- I get even more frightened when I see how afraid you are and then...
I realize what it is
[...]
Mulholland Dr. (David Lynch)
i give it a 10.
00:00 a.m.
long ago,
my watch broke down.
i've opened it. i thought i can fix it...
you know what happened?
all the time sliped away of it!
...without a clue.
5 May 2003
my DVD collection grew by 2 masterpieces:
New York Stories, directed by Woody Allen, Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorsese
and Down By Law, a Jim Jarmusch movie.
4 May 2003
scandinavian round-trip.
observations upon Rostock...
i've noticed some difference - compared to Hamburg (it's definitely east germany)
the shores are magnificent.
sausage, beer, ships, and seagulls everywhere.
the shipyard gives a strong industrial ambience to the city.
from Rostock is not the easiest task to get to Copenhagen.
we took a ferryboat to Trelleborg (maybe the shouthest sweedish town)
the sailing took 6 hours, but it was a real cool experience.
(then bus to Malmö and finally Copenhagen - short train trip).
observations upon Denmark/Copenhagen...
although we saw just Copenhagen in detail, we have traveled through
the south-easten part of the country.
it'a a large meadow with pheasant, wild ducks and other birds (really naturalistic)
lots of people travelling by bike
most of the cycling girls are wearing skirt! (it's unbelievable!)
best solution for cycling roads! (not so fucked up as germans or dutchs have)
30% of the parking bicycles are capsized ;-)
20% are not chained.
on 5% - something is missing...
danish girls look way better then the german girls.
the architecture is amazing and if you like sculpture, then this is the place
where you can find a lot of statutes (mostly fictions)
Glyptotek & Christianshaven... high lights!
[Christianshaven district] we asked a guy how to get to the city-harbour.
instead of telling us how to get there, he starts talking about the free "weed" zone,
a small part of the district where drugs are "legal"...
(or at least the police doesn't mind of it).
the subway is not driven by humans ;-) it's completly automated.
[...]
the way back - ferry from Gedsen to Rostock.
unforgettable sailing accompanied by seagulls and ships.
1 May 2003
10:05 p.m.
at long last, tomorrow i'll leave Hamburg. i'm going north, to Rostock and
if the weather is good enough i'll sail further north to Copenhagen.
let's see what the scandinavians are up to...
09:50 p.m.
movie of the day:
Amores Perros (Love's a Bitch) directed by Alejandro González Ińárritu.
a great mexican movie, with a great story (in fact three stories).
warning: it's not a sunday morning relaxation and definitely not a Hollywood-like production.
it's violent, desperate and real. while viewing it, i wondered lot's of times where the whole
story goes? what the end could be? well, i will not forget this one for a long time (for sure!)
00:23 a.m.
advice
this whole extended disorder around me starts beeing desperately annoying.
some stupid hungarian luggage attendant robbed me second time this year.
well, first i was a looser putting the camera into my luggage, but you definitely
cannot take a screwdriver kit on a plane, they'll think you're a terrorist or w.t.f.
i asked myself why do i pay a whole bunch of money for the airport tax?
you'll say it's not a good advertisement for hungary? well, fuck it...
as someone said: you can decorate a pile of shit with honey, but hey,
in the end it's nothing more than honey-covered shit!
face reality,
stripe your bag.
30 April 2003
For your sensual enjoyment, today's musical proposal:
Lovage - Music To Make Love To Your Old Lady By
Most of the songs here were written by the trio of Dan The Automator
(Nakamura), Mike Patton (Faith No More) & Jennifer Charles (Elysian Fields).
It's roaming creativity, randy moods, and very unique at the same time.
28 April 2003
experiencing unknown (e.26)
the whole forest turn to life, instantly, in a shake,
creeping snakes from all around, strewing darkgray flakes on the woods,
each blade of grass was a spiral-crawling snake, and each spiral was part of the whole vision.
i was Dante on his way down to Hell, dreaming and walking,
and i doesn't really understood how i got there?
i was Ginsberg, tumbling, whilst vomiting the universe,
deep into the forest, where the growing fire consumes and pulls me to emptiness,
meanwhile lights fade away...
i was Kafka, trying to make sense of the story,
the worm sweeped away from the rotting apple tree.
i was Buddha after twenty years, sitting under the tree,
listening the master and his disciple, sailing dead south...
i was Blake whilst the Angel shows him Hell, the whole vision dissapearing in a moment,
what the man gives out himself is poison, be it dirt or be it art,
we don't need the complexity surrounding us, it's useless.
i understood the Valuts of Erowid,
everything was simple and comprehensible...
whereas i saw the darkness surrounding us, the agony of solitude,
i fell off ten thousand meters in the abyss, but SHE was there, and pull me back!
hungarian
23 April 2003
i found it! i found it!
the broken link which fails to drive:
the movie begun, vivid but quiescent,
some evil forebodings, promoting serenity on a quiet ascent.
and there we are, after a few minutes; and it's artwork.
and your mind gone... on a fancy-dress ball party,
with satin sheet cocktail, peach schnapps and apricot brandy.
emerged in caribbeans, with voodoo and black magic, spicy flavours.
but that's intentional, to shock the mind,
revulsion with insidious timing, and you're back!
shivering, frightened, like never before, stock-still.
it's oppressive mindfuck,
mechanical failure after nuclear fusion.
the realm of wax mindset, psychopathic heritage,
incomprehensible substance, as silent mantra first.
flowing sequence and growing obscurity,
carryed out by perfect angles and valuable details.
finally drama reach climax,
and you're left absently,
suggesting a cold restart.
hungarian
22 April 2003
oldtime stories - from '98
inner | abstract
20 April 2003
I gathered some traditional Melanesian choir songs.
Very authentic, very deep. The roots and the essence
of this songs can be found in their religion (I think).
19 April 2003
This days I read some parts of Michael Schumacher's "Dharma Lion",
a critical biography of Allen Ginsberg. He wrote about the trip of
Ginsberg to South America, in search of experience with yage and ayahuasca.
After the writers' conference in Santiago (Chile) dated January 1960, with
some unexpected money from poetry sales, he begun his South American
journey.
here's a summary extract
19 April 2003
loneliness - my muse, hidden in fatigue...
19 April 2003
bleak prospects
iniquities almost send me to grave.
phylactery was my saviour,
the thoughtful message on the calfskin,
purposely stashed in deep caves.
yield some persuasion,
and confidence for those who speak,
gather proselytes around,
yesterday sightless, now reborn,
seeing the aged man at the door,
the guardian of Heaven.
hungarian
19 April 2003
pseudo-Sententious
almost a century has gone, without the evidence of time,
but now I recall the stolen memories, invaluable innocence!
apparently self-absorbed...
reaching dead end, shortly before dawn,
yet more silky images creep through and through.
mind still on idle...
suddenly, the stranger emerge, sleekly, silently, like a snake, right in front of me.
i'm out of the groove, however rest satisfied.
truly pseudo-sententious.
hungarian
18 April 2003
It's a long time since i've been to the palace, but today, it happend
that I recall the place. In former times, i used to pass in. The
outlook is sensational, but the real attraction of the whole place,
is it's ambience, with the spiral staircase, the high attic, and the
mysterious nooks. I barely remember the last time i've been there. It
would be great to be there suddenly, to lean on the handrail, just
like before, to stare at distance, deep in thought... the magical
place ;-)
hungarian
14 April 2003
Here I am, on my way back to Hamburg. Another two weeks session,
far from home and friends. I realize that, since the frequent
travels became part of my job /and my life too/, i've got completly
used to the large airports, the transfer flights, dejected stewardess
showing me how to behave in case i'm going to die, afterwards serving
my meal with a fake smile on her face, the long waiting hours in
some gray-colored superboring departure lounge. The whole thing
reminds me of a scene from the Fight Club movie...
...you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you
wake up as a different person?
11 April 2003
A few yesrs ago I was interested in magic. Not in occult magic ;-)
but magic in a sense of illusionism, kind of close-up magic. I used
to learn some basic tricks using coins and cards. It was very amusing
to see people's face after charming away alighted cigarette in some
cloth. That was my best performed trick ever. I like that one because
it's almost impossible, for the one who's seeing it, to unravel the
scam, but at the same time it's very easy to perform it. Probably
everyone knows that the basic of magic is misdirection. The one who
performes it, needs practice. And that's not easy, especially when
tricks get complicated. Unfortunately I came to realize that I have
no talent in misdirection. What I've learnd from the whole thing is
that if you find out how the trick was carried out, it will loose all
it's fascination and will have no value. I'm still amazed anytime I
see magic and I don't expect explanations. They will stale the
performance. When you know it, it's like drinking a cup of water.
10 April 2003
[08:14]
I found out about Citizen Kane after reading lots of movie related
forums on the IMDb. Unfortunately I never heard about it before. Shame on me?
surely... At night i'll have the whole movie, so I can share my opinion.
Anyway, the opinions are divided - good ones as well as bad ones.
Some people said that the movie does not stand the test of time but most
people rate it as the greatest film of all time. Regarding the fact
that the movie came out first in 1941 and people still have comments on the subject,
it seems that there is something to it.
[00:15]
So, i'm done! And you know what? I think I got myself in the lane of
those who say: this movie is a masterpiece. The atmosphere is
sensational. I found the whole ideea, on which the movie is built on,
truly original and exciting. Somehow it reminds me of my childhood
too. It's a movie about innocence, it awaken us by showing how
wretched we are loosing it. And that's the real power of the movie,
beside it's powerfull directorial innovations. I don't really want to
comment more on it. I can just recomend it to all who like the old classics.
09 April 2003
the moral of the day:
It's the habit of an illiterate man, to blame someone else when he goes wrong.
...
always argue to a german.
06 April 2003
Last week I visited the town of Venice in Italy. It was a wonderful
journey with my girlfriend. The sinking city has a deep romantic
atmosphere, with it's narrow streets, the canals and the bridges.
Time is almost frozen. Just the large number of tourists remind
that you did not pass in time a few hundred years. The overview of
the city is amazing. I managed to make a picture about a big
wallpaper /taken from the air/. The whole place was built on the sea,
mostly on artificial irelands. It's linked through a few hundered
meter bridge to Mestre, the closest city on the coast. For someone
like me, who grew up in a city without a harbour and sea-shore, it's
always an aces feeling to visit a port-town. And more than that, it
is special because it has no even roads for cars. The whole traffic
is transact by ships.
05 April 2003
Lets talk about the title here. It's not my original ideea. I
was inspired by a poem from one of my favourite poet. (Maybe you
already know his name). At the time of making this page I start
to read lots of lyrics, and not just for inspiration but to take
my time in a way to have a good feeling at the end of my journey.
Seeing that expression in the middle of the page clutch me
instantly. It's almost the same feelnig when you try to make
yourself a good meal, let's say a tortellini with cheese; and
after you drop the pieces into the boiling water, you realize that
you have some chilli sauce, which actually is a pretty good
combination. Of course having the chilli sauce is a matter of
coincidence, because at the time when you bought it, you planed
to consume it with the mexican tortilla. Destiny combines this kind
of things. And you know what? The combination was marvelous.
Talking about the "joint" here, I'm not thinking about the furled
piece of cigarette with some marijuana or hash into it, but even
more about it's meaning, what does it mean for me... by the time
you're at the gate of the last fume, without so much as realize, your
feelings gone so deep and already made something what they call:
"the peace of mind". The combination with "time" is almost natural.
affix
05 Aprilis 2003
A világ ötszáz évvel ezelőtt:
# A Sui dinasztia idején Ma Shumou és Zhu Can ínyencség gyanánt
gyermekeket főzetett meg. A Tűz Dinasztiák idején, Chang Congjian nagy
örömét lelte emberi hús fogyasztásában. Bárhová is ment, számos
gyermeket ragadott el titokban a köznép soraiból, hogy étekként
felszolgáltassa magának. Mind Yan Zhen, mind pedig Dugu Zgnang
osztozott ebben a szenvedélyében. A Song dinasztiák idején,
Yong Zhigao anyjának, egy bizonyos A-nongnak, kegyetlen volt a
természete és nagyon szerette a gyermekek húsát. Minden étkezéshez
leöletett magának egy gyereket.
# A vilag legynagyobb csapasai kozzul a legnagyobb talan az Eurázsia
teruleten pusztito pestis jatvany volt. A fekete halál (bubó-,
tüdőgyulladásos és vérmérgezéses pestis) 1347-51, mindossze 4 ev
elteltevel mintegy 75.000.000 ember halalat okozta.
# Legnagyobb népirtás: A mongolok kiírtják a kínai parasztságot. Az
aldozatok szama: 35.000.000 (1311-40 kozott.)
# Ezt koveti az Óvilág hatása az Újvilágra (A spanyolok megjelenése
Közép-Amerikában). A lemeszaroltak szama kb. 25.000.000 (1492-1592)
# A legkomolyabb képzés a 15. századi Japánban a szamurájok hét
vagy nyolc éven át gyakorolták folyamatosan a nagyon kemény
harcművészeteket. Legalább hat[?] területen szakértőnek kellett
lenniük: üres kézzel történő küzdelem, bojujutsu (botharc), naginata
(alabárd harc), hanbojutsu (kard) és végül kodachijutsu (rövid kard).
4-5 April 2003
the floating sage of fake wisdom
i always welcome gentle wisdom after a long day of soberness,
go beyond reason, leaving it all behind...
when yesterdays image come to mind, like obedient slaves of an ancient kingdom,
making me rich by that squeamish feeling, when the scene begins to fade...
unexpressed, untouched, uninspired.
travelling clouds, heavy mountains, devious trees and the mystery message...
and when it's all gone, after a few moments,
as flowing fever, when jaunty wisdom forsake my body,
the upcoming sanity brought by the morning of light,
takes me back to the world of easy virtues.
welcome
hungarian
1 Aprilis 2003
lazsd: 11 Február 2000
[folytatas]
... A misztikus hangulatot fokozta egy hatalmas fatorzs, melyik ott
pihent a hatalmas szoba kozepen, es bar reg kivaghattak, megis
zoldelo agak bujtak ki belolle, szines illatos viragokkal es
bogarakkal. Nem torodve a korulmenyekkel, Cortez maga fele forditotta
a hatalmas tukrot, es hirtelen megpilantotta sajat magat. Hatalmas
hosszu bozontos szakallat vizcseppek diszitettek, es a homlokan
izzadsag cseppek kezdtek megjelenni. Furcsa modon, a ruhaja nem lett
vizes, bar a padlora jocskan jutott. Bosszankodtam is magamban, dehat
mit varjak egy ilyen oriastol. Csak pislogtam tovabb es vartam a
kovetkezo mozdulatat. De mintha csak erezte volna hogy azt szeretnem
hogy vegre megmozditsa hatalmas testenek ket also vegtagjat, O csak
turelmesen alt ott tovabb, csodalva magat a tukorben. Mintha
legalabbis valami csodas teremtes alna elotte. Buszkesegtol telve
kihuzta a melkasat, es mely levegot vett. Szinte egyszerre mondtuk
ki: - Na tessek, a torpek ujra kihoztak belollem a pokol tuzes
szomjat. Tudnillik Cortez, mindig ezt mondja amikor megissza a
vizemet. Es tesek, mehetek ujra felhozni a hordo vizemet, ami nekem
tobb napig is eleg. Ezzel tavozott is, becsapva magautan a hatalmas
tolgy-ajtot, amin a 9-es szam mar alig-alig volt kiveheto. Mar a
jelenteset is elfelejtettem. Csak arra emlekszem amikor jottek
felhuzni a toronyba. Furcsak nap volt. Epp sotetedett, es
csodalkoztam hogy ilyen keson meg munkahoz lattak az udvari szolgak.
folyt.kov.
1 April 2003
# /hash/
... seeking thougths in this individual feeling, Staing stoned
between the mountain of pillows, imaginary built around, filtering
all the bad things, without simplicity. Moving the space, waving the
air, pumping pulse.
27 Február 2003
A vegen elmegyek Haiti-re pucer noket festeni.
...kitudja, meg egyszer hires leszek.
/* elegem van */
23 February 2003
A tegnap almai. A teren kinai katonak kinoztak a haborus bunosoket.
Nem kegyelmeztek egyikojuknek sem. Az embermagassagu colopokhoz
kotozot fogjokat vagy hasba lottek vagy a bajonettes vegu
fegyvereiket leszurtak a torkukon. Megdobbento volt a latvany. En nem
voltam reszese az esemenyeknek, csak egy kivulallo, aki felulrol
szemleli az egesszet. Aztan hirtelen felgyorsult az ido es eltelt
kozel 100 ev egy pillanat leforgasa alatt. En ugyanott voltam, mint
kulso szemlelo... a ter televolt viragokkal, es emberek kaveztak az
arnyat ado kavehazak-ban. A nap erossen sutott, minent megtelitve
harmoniaval. En is azt ereztem. Hirtelen mineden tokeletesse valt
...elmosolyodtam.
11 February 2003
Do you know who's wearing the suit? Not a man like me, not a man like
you...
11 February 2003
I'm wearing a smile on my face ;-)
I know I'll leave again...
soon...
and the chorus sings onwards,
I'll always return.
6 February 2003
At last, I manage to buy the Caprices of Paganini in the
interpretation of I. Perlmann. I'm not a real adept of classical music,
but the figure of Paganini was always a mistery to me. A long time
ago I saw a documentary about Perlmann where he used to play some of
the caprices. The guy amazes me with the speed of his fingers while
playing on the violin, and of course the music take me of.
Unfortunately, at that time, it was hard to come by such a piece of
work. It's a real pleasure listening to it. I also recall a book about
Paganini, but I don't remember the title nor the author...
5 Február 2003
There are a lot of times, when people say things, just to say something.
In most of the cases, things said on those moments does not reflect the
truth, and more than that, ...does not reflect it at all!
[...]
Most of the time, people say things, just to say something. Speaking
of someone or something, but not the truth at all.
25 November 2002
Hideg szurke tenger, sivar kikoto, igazi ipartelep. Siralyok, mind
feher. Ehesen uvoltenek a hideg novemberi szelben. A molo kornyeken sok
sok teherhajo es olaj-tanker, koztuk 1-2 vitorlas, regi, jo par
evtizedes... Hamburg elso benyomasa.
23 Július 2002
elojottek a gerinc problemaim...a doki lehet mutetet fog
javasolni. Nem orulnek tulzottan.
[...]
eszembejutott a nagy hollo a hegyekbol. Jo lenne ujra latni...
11 Június 2002
"Ártatlan emberek fölött nem lehet uralkodni. Egy kormány számára
az egyetlen rendelkezésre álló hatalom a bünösökre való lecsapás
hatalma. Szóval ha nincs elegendö bünös, akkor csinálni kell
többet. Ennek módja olyan sok cselekedet büncselekménnyé
nyilvánítása, hogy az ember számára lehetetlenné válik az élet a
törvény megsértése nélkül. De kinek is van szüksége egy
törvénytisztelö polgárokból álló nemzetre? Ez kinek lenne érdeke?
Sokkal egyszerübb olyan törvényeket hozni, melyeket nem lehet sem
betartani, sem betartatni, sem objektíven értelmezni -- s ezáltal
létrehozni a törvénysértök nemzetét -- s ezekután be lehet nyújtani a
számlát a bünösöknek."
Ayn Rand, "Atlasz megrázta magát"